The path ahead has not been walked before you, and you fear treading, well, not on a landmine, but at the very least on a cowpat. So why would you not stand safely, stagnantly, still?
I do not know. I do. Not. Know.... which direction to take. I stand at Three Ways:
Do I leave my useless, selfish partner and be a single mother to the one child I love with every fibre of my being, enjoying my newfound independence?
Do I stay with my useless, selfish partner and have a second baby, which he has finally, begrudgingly agreed to but is already resenting me for even though we're not even pregnant yet?
OR do I leave my useless, selfish partner, attempt to get pregnant via donor sperm at the age of 40, and be a single mother to TWO children I love, one of whom will never know her/ his father?
What does it say for the power of hormones when that last option seems the best, even though it's the one that means I will be busy, impoverished, stressed, old, at my wits' end, disorganised, messy, late, haggard, forgetful, a bad friend, a frustrated mother, terrible role model, scattered, sad, unfit, isolated, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely and lonely, plus with frizzy hair and chewed nails?
Them's some powerful hormones.
